whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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It's all Taggart

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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