How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...