Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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