- Anti Joke

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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