Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

nice tits.

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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