Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops