And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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