What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

Knock knock! Just kidding.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

womans rights...

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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