Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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