How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Cancer

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops