What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Justin beiber..

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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