Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

thumb_up thumb_down -16

oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops