What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Your big dick.

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sky silverstein

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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