So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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