Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...