What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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