How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

thumb_up thumb_down -8

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops