Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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The global news

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Grace Ackerson

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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