Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Get off my porch homo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops