What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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