Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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