What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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The american education system.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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