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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops