Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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