Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops