An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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