Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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women's rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops