If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Dwarf Shortage

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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