What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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