Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

What is better than tissues? Correct!

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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