if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Your big dick.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops