Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

what smells like tuna? my underwear

What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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