Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops