Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops