What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...