If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Golf.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops