Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Knock knock.

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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A penis walks into a bar..

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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