So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

your mama's so fat... that's it

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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