What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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