roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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