A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops