how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Barack Obama is a good president.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops