Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Cripples are lame.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Blacks

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops