Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops