How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -32

you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Homo say what?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops