Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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