Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

America

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

a black man pays his child support

what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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