You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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AIDS

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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