How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops