So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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