Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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