What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops