What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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My cat just died.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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