What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

"Knock knock..." "come in"

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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