A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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25

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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